Gratitude

In recent months I've realized that I've always been a highly anxious person.  Looking back on my life, even as a child, I suffered from anxiety, sometimes debilitating.  I remember in the third grade, I didn't want to go to school...like, ever.  I wanted to be home with either my dad or my grandparents.  Of course, this wasn't an option.  My dad was raising two girls on his own so we kind of needed to go to school so he could work.  Homeschooling simply wasn't an option.

As a grown woman, I know that being homeschooled wouldn't have been beneficial to me.  I needed to learn how to cope.  The problem, back then, was that no one recognized that I was highly anxious and literally feared going to school.  I wasn't bullied.  I was just...afraid.

Now, as a 38 year old mother to five kids, I'm still a very anxious person.  Five kids, you say?  Who wouldn't be anxious, right?  Ha!  It's not the kids, necessarily, unless they have an illness that is severe, which is rare for my kids.  It's only happened twice in my 18 years as a parent.

Gratitude, though, is one of the things that gets me through.  We shouldn't save gratitude for the holidays or when times get rough.  As a Buddhist newbie, one of the things I mediate on is the things I'm thankful for.  My children, my husband, friends, my adorable 4-legged babies, our home, having food on the table.  I think that life can get so busy that we forget to be thankful for what we have and we forget that so many people have less than us, yet still manage to be happy.  It's not about quantity, but quality.

In reality, it can be very difficult to even remember to be thankful.  I take the time every day to purposely think about how lucky I am.  It gets easier and easier each day to live in the moment and be consciously aware of my life and my surroundings.  Give it a try!  What can you think of that you are thankful for?  Is there a certain time of day that you can dedicate to being mindful so you can practice some daily reflection?  Let me know how it goes!